I recently made the decision to relaunch my essential oils business and I also joined a friend in a developing a homeschooling co-op and, ohh yeah, I had a baby a few months ago too. This is not me trying to brag, this is just telling you about my season of life right now. I am just like any other busy mom– we’ve all got a lot going on.
But because of my obvious busy-ness, I’ve been getting some questions– how do you do it? or how do you do it all?
And it’s got me thinking… just what is doing it all? I guess to most moms it’s managing the household. For some of us it’s homeschooling our children. For others it’s working outside the home. It’s keeping up with the messes, the laundry, the dishes, the bubble baths.
But really friends, I’m here to tell you that doing it all is just as much of a myth as having it all. It’s just not possible.
Just like there is always going to be a better car (minivan!) to drive, a larger house to own, a better (or more minimalistic) wardrobe to own– there is always going to be mom stuff not done. One more dish in the sink, another load of laundry left unfolded, a garden not weeded or a cranky child that just will not go to sleep.
If I spend my days chasing after getting it all done– and that’s all I find my satisfaction in– I will miss out. I will miss out on sweet afternoon snuggles, opportunities to teach my children how to bake cookies, giggles over bubble bath beards.
Yes, I want to be an awesome homemaker. I try to have clean underwear for my husband after he gets home from work and is desperate need of a shower. I try to make dinner– not always from scratch– every night. I try to run my dishwasher every night. So, I haven’t given up. I haven’t stopped attempting to get better at this thing called wifehood & mommyhood. But I have, at times, lowered my standards, settling for “good enough” instead of “perfect.”
So, in case no one has told you, I will. “Doing it all” is a big fat myth. Something has gotta give somewhere. Choices have to be made– get extra laundry done today or play in the sprinkler with the kids, skip going out to lunch with a friend to catch up on housework, pick up takeout for dinner so we can deep clean the car before vacation. It’s all about give and take.
At times I may look like I have more on my plate and am handling it better than someone else is. And at other times I look like a hot mess (probably because I am)! While it’s great to have friends to look up to and who encourage you to be a better person, it’s not always great to compare yourself to others. Right now, I have big kids who help me out a lot but just a few short years ago I was that always-frazzled mom with 3 kids aged 5 and under. That was tough.
I just want to encourage you all to do the absolute best you can do with where you are in life and with what is before you right now. And when you don’t have the strength to handle it all on your own– which I’m telling you, you won’t– turn to God and He will give you rest for your soul. He will help you carry your burdens and He will sustain you. Keep working hard and keep setting goals for yourself and aspirations for your family but also keep giving yourself grace. You can’t do it all, nor were you meant to.